It’s hard to believe that I’m here right now, standing so very close to the edge. I’m so close that even just taking a breath could send me over the edge. What lies in wait for me at the bottom is happiness and freedom like I’ve never known. The journey to get here has been long and painful and, honestly, there were times I doubted there was an end to this square world I’ve been living in all my life. Joy has filled my lungs, I’ve been smiling for eight hours straight–smiling even as the tears evaporated, leaving salty trails in their wake. I’m leaving this place. The decision has been made. A decision that has set in motion a chain of events I couldn’t possibly hope to undo. With reckless abandon I fling myself into the promise of hope and happiness. All I needed was the slightest hint of their hesitation to grab hold of enough courage to make a choice. And I chose him. I chose to escape the source of my depression. I love my family, but even family can be toxic. I’m tired of the ever present promises that things will get better when they don’t. Years pass and things only get worse and I have been defenseless as to do anything about it. I’ve always harbored an inordinate fear of my father. Not because he has ever laid a hand on me, but because he has been the vice around my heart ever since I was a little girl. He broke my heart and mind and is to this day turns a blind eye to it. Things have been at their worse. There is nothing more he can take away from me. “How’s that?”, one may ask. Well, you see, he’s taken more than he should. He’s taken my fear away too.
girl in the mirror 